Music Teacher in the Trenches: A First Year Lived, Learned

If I could sum up my first year teaching, it would go like this:

Damn.

First, some background:  I taught in a town 1 hour north of Chicago.  Very mixed population (70% Latino, 20% Black, 10% White).  Very, very high needs.  My school (and by extension, my district) was bat shit crazy.  Everything from behavior issues (900+ total office referrals this year at my school) to logistical issues (wait, what do you mean I have 4 kids in this class and 28 in that class?) to resource issues (no curriculum, had to make all my own worksheets, had to buy all my own copy paper, AND to say that the 2 copy machines and 3 printers were working 45% of the time would be generous).  I taught 6^th, 7^th, and 8^th grade choir and general music.  Just about every kid I had did not choose to be in my music classroom by choice.  Well, there ya go.

1.      Truth.

Here is by far the best representation I’ve seen for the first year of teaching:

The only difference is that I experienced occasional weeks of severe “disillusionment” dips during the latter part of the year as well.  And my “rejuvenation” phase felt more like “relief” than anything.

2.      “You are building habits slowly over time”

This one is from Tom Bird, one of the most brilliant professors I ever had.  It is a simple truth, but it is also a powerful one.  We all want to be exceptional teachers.  The problem is, we start off as pretty shitty teachers and we want to be good all at once.  In order to not feel overwhelmed, we have to set small goals for ourselves.  Teaching requires YEARS of learning skills in very small increments.  YEARS.  It will not happen all at once.

3.      Am I turning ADD?

There is so much little stuff.  It adds up way more than you think.  You have no idea until you experience it.  I felt like I was drowning in 50 million tiny tasks.  Something as simple as “I need to unlock this instrument room before 1^st period and lock it after 2^nd period everyday” becomes a big deal when stacked upon everything else you have to remember.  Don’t forget to also send that email, call back that parent, fill out that IEP report form, or sign that form detailing your account expenses.  I will reiterate: you have no idea until you experience it.

4.      Reflection

College for me was 20% practical and 80% reflection (or theoretical).  My first year teaching was 100% practical and 0% reflection.   

5.      Consistency

It is remarkably hard to be the same teacher each day.  Some days you are a little tired and let your rules, expectations, and classroom management slide.  Other days you are sharp and can resolve problems like you are Neo coding the matrix.  The biggest problem is that students will not be afraid to point your inconsistency out (“well yesterday so-and-so did that and you didn’t say anything to him”).  They are being jerks, but they are being correct jerks.

6.      Staff

Above all else, be around a staff you like.  Think about this: If you don’t like the teachers you work with, you could spend some days not having a single adult conversation. 

Don’t get me wrong…I loved my students dearly.  But you can only reach a certain level of conversation with someone you can’t go out and get a beer with.

7.      It is all about how you approach a student

This one might be more pertinent in an urban school.  If you have a student’s respect, they will do anything for you.  Plain and simple.  I saw some teachers who approached students they didn’t even know very negatively.  Sure you can get a kid to do something by yelling at them, but that is also a great way to burn bridges.  What makes you think a kid enjoy being highlighted in a negative way?

Part of me thinks this is the result of a self fulfilling prophecy.  The mindset for a teacher goes like this: “I’m a white person (more often than not) teaching in an urban district.  Therefore, I have to be strict and yell at the kids, right?”  This in turn creates a similar prophecy for the students: “All my teachers are jerks.  They are just going to yell at me for every little thing.  In order to save face in front of my friends, I have to snap at them right?”  It is complicated trying to fight the building culture and approach the students in your own way.

8.      Classroom management

I learned two things about classroom management. 

The first is that surprise is a great tactic.  Catching the students off guard = engagement.  I’m not talking anything drastic (there is still high value in predictable routine), but sometimes it would be cool to try things such as start a class non-verbally or bring in a new prop.  

The second is that it has to fit your style.  I’m not an intimidating drill sergeant, so I’m not going to be that person even when I am in an urban school.  My personality dictated a lot of my classroom management style, and for the most part that worked.  If you know what I mean by “Love and Logic”, that was definitely my style.  Did I have to compromise sometimes? Absolutely.  Did I get frustrated sometimes and become the (ineffective) drill sergeant?  You betcha.

9.      Class culture

The mix of students in a class affects everything.  A few kids here and there can change the entire climate of the room.  And with that, it is difficult finding what works and what doesn’t work for each class.  I would often spend entire quarters (or even semesters) searching for something until I would strike gold. 

Story:  I had a class at the end of the day that came to me after lunch and gym right in a row.  If I didn’t have their attention for 5 seconds (I timed it once) I would lose them.  I tried everything I could think of (lecturing, worksheets, yelling my head off) but none of it worked.  Not even movement activities worked with them (half the class refused to do it, the other half got even more hyper).  So I struggled with gaining their attention each day and hated teaching that class.  I even began shouting at them, which in turn caused them to ban together against me.  I was afraid of letting them do group work since I figured they wouldn’t get anything done.  I got to the point where I didn’t care and decided to give it a shot.  These kids worked their asses off on that project more than any other class I ever had.  I counted one day and there wasn’t a single kid that was off task.  And I didn’t figure this out until 2 weeks were left of school.  I wanted to blow my brains out for being such an idiot.

10.  Lesson planning

Some lessons will just plain suck.  There are days where you do not have enough time to apply your creativity and you have to whip an activity together without any foresight (having students work in groups bombed when I didn’t plan it right).  But then, there are those times you really pour your creativity into a particular lesson and it pays off (I made this amazing “secret messages in Led Zeppelin’s music” worksheet where I had half the text written upside down.  To read it properly, the students were required to flip, fold, unfold, and rotate the worksheet in a certain order).  The true masterstrokes are when you completely improvise your way through a lesson and the students love it…and you have no clue why it worked (I haphazardly planned this thing where students had to tally the number of times the “ba ba ba bum” theme happened in Beethoven’s 5^th.  I had kids so excited they were jumping up and down shouting out their answers).

11.  Grrrrr

I was upset. A lot.  But when I took a step back, it meant that I cared.  I wasn’t satisfied with the way things were going in my classes and I wanted to desperately fix it.  The really dangerous emotion I had on occasion was numbness.  Luckily for me (?) that feeling would often quickly resolve back into stubborn frustration most of the time.  It’s amazing how little 12 year olds can tie you up in knots sometime. 

12.  There are very few bad teachers.

Period.  Even in my shitty school, I found teachers who were working their asses off because they cared about their students.  Out of my entire staff of 40, there was only one teacher that I could legitimately call a bad teacher.  Think about that for a second.  And I would be willing to bet this would hold true if you picked any school in any city across the country.  It is almost kind of tragic really..these kids have no idea how hard their teachers are working for them.

13.  Perspective

Bad days and good days came in flashes.  Sometimes they even came back to back.  You just never knew what was in store.  Whenever I had a bad day, I read this story that I put on my wall:

“Once upon a time there was an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. "Such bad luck," they said sympathetically. "Maybe," the farmer replied. The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. "How wonderful," the neighbors exclaimed. "Maybe," replied the old man. The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune. "Maybe," answered the farmer. The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out. "Maybe," said the farmer.”